Friday, November 13, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Autism Story - Original Outline & Revised Outline
ORIGINAL OUTLINE (10/19/09)
1.) Deputy enters: "Sheriff's daughter kidnapped...we know your record...call us if..."
2.) Autistic daughter/date enter bar.
3.) Goodman realizes he's got them in his bar.
4.) Picks up the phone to report, reassesses.
5.) Intervention: The date explains the situation.
6.) Goodman's moral dilemma - decides not to call.
7.) Couple sits at bar.
8.) Sees couples dancing.
9.) Date asks if she wants to dance - Yes - New song - Too loud - She pulls back.
10.) He unplugs the jukebox. Gets her to accept touch - dance.
11.) Eye contact.
12.) Best night ever.
13.) Sheriff/father enters bar, pissed.
14.) Goes after date and Goodman.
15.) Daughter looks father in the eye.
16.) Fathers understanding that something took place here, tonight.
______________________________________________________________________________________
REVISED OUTLINE (11/2/09) - (work in progress)
We're replacing the deputy with MARGE, the local busybody, who's at the bar with curlers in her hair, drinks boilermakers, and pesters Terry with her latest gossip.
STEVE and GRACE enter. Marge (who knows Steve and knows all about Grace) thinks this is a bad thing. She knows Grace isn't supposed to be out.
Marge calls the sheriff from the bar phone. Terry disconnects the call. Marge considers what Terry did to be taking part in a kidnapping. She gets on her cell phone to call the sheriff...but Terry grabs the phone away from her. Marge accuses him of theft. When he puts his arm on her shoulder, trying to calm her down, she accuses him of sexual harassment.
Grace becomes upset by the commotion (how loud things are getting). Steve tries to talk Marge down. Marge says she won't call the sheriff - under one condition - that Steve joins her for a drink. (Marge, a cougar with no takers, has had a thing for Steve for a long time.) Trying to let Grace have her night out without her father's interference, Steve agrees to the drink with Marge.
While Steve drinks with Marge, Terry is left trying to calm/distract Grace, who's still upset. Terry has no idea how to handle this autistic woman. (It's like a guy who was never a father having to take care of a baby.)
Steve tries to move away from Marge to help Terry with Grace...but Marge pulls Steve back - making sure he pays attention to her or she'll make that call to the sheriff's office.
A song comes on the jukebox. Marge leads Steve onto the dance floor.
Terry then dances with Grace.
The night that Steve was trying to give Grace turns into Terry making it a special night for her.
NOTES:
Blog out the rest of the beats. Some of the beats lead back to where the story was at before - but this is where we were at when the class ended.
Grace needs to be much more involved in the story.
The script is filled with too much exposition. We need to find more character moments, more attitude and behavior, more real moments. Let's make sure we feel the heart and soul of this story.
1.) Deputy enters: "Sheriff's daughter kidnapped...we know your record...call us if..."
2.) Autistic daughter/date enter bar.
3.) Goodman realizes he's got them in his bar.
4.) Picks up the phone to report, reassesses.
5.) Intervention: The date explains the situation.
6.) Goodman's moral dilemma - decides not to call.
7.) Couple sits at bar.
8.) Sees couples dancing.
9.) Date asks if she wants to dance - Yes - New song - Too loud - She pulls back.
10.) He unplugs the jukebox. Gets her to accept touch - dance.
11.) Eye contact.
12.) Best night ever.
13.) Sheriff/father enters bar, pissed.
14.) Goes after date and Goodman.
15.) Daughter looks father in the eye.
16.) Fathers understanding that something took place here, tonight.
______________________________________________________________________________________
REVISED OUTLINE (11/2/09) - (work in progress)
We're replacing the deputy with MARGE, the local busybody, who's at the bar with curlers in her hair, drinks boilermakers, and pesters Terry with her latest gossip.
STEVE and GRACE enter. Marge (who knows Steve and knows all about Grace) thinks this is a bad thing. She knows Grace isn't supposed to be out.
Marge calls the sheriff from the bar phone. Terry disconnects the call. Marge considers what Terry did to be taking part in a kidnapping. She gets on her cell phone to call the sheriff...but Terry grabs the phone away from her. Marge accuses him of theft. When he puts his arm on her shoulder, trying to calm her down, she accuses him of sexual harassment.
Grace becomes upset by the commotion (how loud things are getting). Steve tries to talk Marge down. Marge says she won't call the sheriff - under one condition - that Steve joins her for a drink. (Marge, a cougar with no takers, has had a thing for Steve for a long time.) Trying to let Grace have her night out without her father's interference, Steve agrees to the drink with Marge.
While Steve drinks with Marge, Terry is left trying to calm/distract Grace, who's still upset. Terry has no idea how to handle this autistic woman. (It's like a guy who was never a father having to take care of a baby.)
Steve tries to move away from Marge to help Terry with Grace...but Marge pulls Steve back - making sure he pays attention to her or she'll make that call to the sheriff's office.
A song comes on the jukebox. Marge leads Steve onto the dance floor.
Terry then dances with Grace.
The night that Steve was trying to give Grace turns into Terry making it a special night for her.
NOTES:
Blog out the rest of the beats. Some of the beats lead back to where the story was at before - but this is where we were at when the class ended.
Grace needs to be much more involved in the story.
The script is filled with too much exposition. We need to find more character moments, more attitude and behavior, more real moments. Let's make sure we feel the heart and soul of this story.
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